We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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