I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
