you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
