Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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