Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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