Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
