Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
