literally had 100 drinks last night.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
