chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
