As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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