What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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