Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
