That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
