We're facebook friends in real life
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
