Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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