Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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