as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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