some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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