Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i think my cat just said my name.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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