I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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