lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
