matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
