dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
