Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize