Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
