My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
