You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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