explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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