That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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