oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize