My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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