Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
