I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
