Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
A+ Viking dick
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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