I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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