genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
