I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
