I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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