eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
