The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize