you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize