u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
