Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
