so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
