I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
