Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
