How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
