Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
