i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
