If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
