Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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