Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize