He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
