You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
