Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
