I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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