ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
