I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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